Satori Chocolate Bites — Blueberry, Strawberry
Ranked 29 of 32 in Edibles for Flavor
Activation time: 1/5
Overall score: 2.0
Head High Weak
Body High Weak
These chocolate bites cost around the same amount as any other edible sold in California. Yet, they contain about a third of the THC. The justification? Satori’s Chocolate Bites are “gourmet.” But would connoisseur chocolates really contain ingredients like high-fructose corn syrup and “Nonionic Surfactant”?
These edibles felt like they were going to take forever to kick in. Once they did, the effects our Satori Chocolate Bites delivered were minimal, and they didn’t seem worth the bad taste in our mouths that seemed to persist long after the vague high faded away.
Each small edible only contains 3mg THC. That’s right — you’d need to eat close to half a container of Satori Chocolate Bites to get the same dose as a single average 10mg edible.
These Satori edibles even look small. They come in a tiny tin that looks deceptively bigger in online pictures, and each ball itself is about the size of a Milk Dud. We think this is a contender for the most overrated cannabis product ever. Terrible flavor.
There’s an odd tone-deafness in the cannabis industry that leads brands to use unacceptably low-quality ingredients in edibles. We suppose they think that their customers are too stoned to notice, but we’re never too high to see the truth.
In this case, the inconvenient truth is that Satori Chocolate Bites hands-down taste terrible. It would be one thing if they weren’t so overhyped, but these “gourmet” THC chocolates taste like the type of expired candy in dusty, clear containers you can find in the bargain bins at Bed Bath & Beyond.
As a low-dosage product, you’ll need to eat 2-3 chocolates to notice any effect.
It wouldn’t be a stretch to call Satori’s Chocolate Bites an abomination only because of what Satori is supposed to be. As a significant California cannabis producer, Satori brands itself as a space where foodies and THC connoisseurs can converge.
Why would California’s most connoisseur-oriented cannabis brand produce chocolates that taste so God-awful? Why choose the cheapest, most hated ingredients to use in your supposedly high-end edibles? These questions scream out for answers, but you can give your own by taking your business elsewhere.
Satori THC chocolates are available on Eaze and in many dispensaries throughout California. We’d strongly recommend you keep a healthy distance from these thoroughly unpleasant edibles, though.
Before the committee gets their hands on the product and formally rates it, the BestDosage team scrapes the product packaging, scours the internet, and occasionally calls the brand directly to hunt down the most accurate information about each product.
THC & CBD per chocolate piece
Target Age Group
100mg THC & 100mg CBD
Dark Chocolate & Chai Spiced White Chocolate
Let us know how this product effected you!
written by Samuel Popejoy, video by Blair Borland